


Someday Maybe

by SaraBathsheba



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, Literati, Post-Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 21:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraBathsheba/pseuds/SaraBathsheba
Summary: "And has he leaves the house, the sad curve of an almost smile on his lips and the old feeling of resignation making his steps heavier, his fingertips already ache from the words he wants to dedicate to the bits of her his eyes stole from the window.He tells himself that maybe this time it will be different. He’s not one for fairy tales, but he’s always been good with stories and sometimes he can even believe the ones he builds in his head."A little bit of closure. Set after the events of the Netflix revival.





	Someday Maybe

It’s not something he thinks about constantly: it’s more like a symphony stuck in the back of his head, something that haunts his thoughts kindly, that’s never too loud or aggressive, that’s even pleasant most of the time, but still something that never goes away.  
And he has tried to move on and erase it, many times. And every girl had been perfect, just for a while, until he figured out which part of her he was missing more this time, or which things made the new girl too different from her.  
So, now, he has finally come to the conclusion that no matter how much he likes playing the man with no roots, the unpredictable one; no matter how many times he cuts his hair differently or how many cities he moves to, there’s still a constant in his life, as clear as black ink on white pages, and it is his love for her. 

Meeting her again after four years; well, he sometimes thanks the rebellious phase he’s gone through in high school, for that has gifted him the ability of hiding his feelings like a masterful actor.  
She hasn’t seemed that affected: lost in her world, maybe just lost, searching once again for the best thing for her, the thing that he sees so clearly. The truth is, he gives the only advice he would give to himself as well, an advice that comes from years and years of doing just that. Because writing may not always be the best answer, but it surely puts things in perspective.  
It’s been all the words and the sentences, every paragraph and every single page: they have changed him, shaped him, made him a better man. 

And has he leaves the house, the sad curve of an almost smile on his lips and the old feeling of resignation making his steps heavier, his fingertips already aches from the words he wants to dedicate to the bits of her his eyes stole from the window.  
He tells himself that maybe this time it will be different. He’s not one for fairy tales, but he’s always been good with stories and sometimes he can even believe the ones he builds in his head.  
Long over leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. 

***

And maybe because fate has a strange way of messing with people, even though he doesn't believe in fate at all, it all started with a wedding, and with a wedding it ends.  
He may not be over her, he knows he’ll probably never be, but he’s not his uncle: he won’t mope around waiting, year after year, man after man, untile she finally figures out what his heart already knows with painful certainty.  
He hasn’t got the chance to talk to her, not nearly as much as he would have liked to, but tonight he is going to do something about it.  
The echo of the steps she took all the time she has already walked away trace a meaningful pattern on his heart, one that warns him that this time he may not be able to recover. But if he never gets it out, if he is the one to walk away, he knows he will regret it for the rest of his days.

She doesn’t look as happy as she should be. He’s not as arrogant as his old self to believe that he’s the one who knows her the best, but still a spark is missing from her eyes, and whenever she thinks nobody is looking, her smiles fades away.  
Everyone else is too lost in the ridiculous celebration going on (and even though he would never admit it out loud, he has missed the unicity that is Stars Hollow) to notice it, but something’s wrong with the bride’s daughter.  
He approaches her with two drinks in his hands, trusting that the one he’s going to have will give him the extra courage he needs (he did ask Kirk to make it a little stronger).  
She’s sitting under a tree decorated with way too many lights, next to Lane. He tries not to think about the ways the lights make her look ethereal, or just how much he would like to caress her pale skin to see if it’s still as soft as he remembers. 

-And so I told him that no, I don’t care about what my mother says, my children will not spend next summer In Corea attending a Christian camp…oh, hi Jess!-  
Rory turns around towards him, and he can’t help the little smile that spreads on his face.  
It’s one of the many awkward moments they have shared through the years; they don’t know what to say and they both just stare into each other’s eyes. Lane roses to her feet, and she gives Rory a strange look.  
-I’m going to try and find Zach and the kids, before my mum manages to kidnap them! I’ll see you later!-.  
She disappears in the crowd, and Rory faces him again.  
-So, even if I’m still angry about not being invited to the *real* wedding, I think it’d be bad luck if we didn’t make a toast to the newly weds- he says, handing her the drink.  
She takes it but with hesitancy. -They woke me up in the middle of the night and they dragged me here! You cannot expect me to be full operative when there has been so little regard for my hours of sleep!-  
-Okay, I will not held you accountable for that.- She nods and makes some space on the bench next to her.  
He sits and takes a sip. -Everything okay?-  
At first, he thinks that maybe she hasn’t heard him. Babette is actually performing a song at a volume that should be illegal. But then she turns, the drink still untouched in her hands.  
-I run into Dean, the other day.-  
For a split second, he can’t believe it. Is she in this state because of him? Has she been in love with him for all this time? After all, who is he to blame her?  
He must make a really strange face, because she laughs, a little, and then looks away again.  
-You still holding that grudge? It’s not what you think. You know, he doesn’t live here anymore and he’s going to… he seemed really happy.- Her voice cracks for a second, right in the middle of the sentence.  
-And you’re not? You seemed really happy too, what with the book and everything…-  
-Do you ever wish to go back? Like, be a teenager again, when the problems where fighting for Dean, and Luke being too noisy, and which college to choose…- she sighs, apparently lost in her memories.  
-It’s just… life has been so hard lately, I just want to forget about all of this, just for a moment.- This has to be more than career’s doubts.  
He drinks again, the vodka strong in his mouth. -Was the break up with Paul that bad?-  
She seems confused - Who? Oh, no. He did end up breaking up with me this morning. But it was long overdue. I don’t know what’s taken over me but I…-  
And maybe it is because, after all, he still knows her very well that he understands.  
-Is it still the blonde douche? You still seeing him?-  
She doesn’t answer, but the guilt that spreads from her eyes and tight lips makes it clear.  
-Has he done something to you?- He’s trying very, very hard to say as little as possible. She seems crushed, overwhelmed, and even if he would like to spit every bad word he knows over the man, he breaths heavily and tries to focus on her.  
-He hasn’t. He… he’s not his fault as much as it isn’t mine. I’ve been seeing him for the last years, but… he’s getting married.-  
So this is it. She’s head over the heels for the millionaire with the shining smile, and of course he is getting married to another woman. And he’s there, next to her, trying to find the right words to say when his feelings are shouting inside of him. He raises a tentative hand, puts it on her shoulder. Her drink sits forgotten on the bench, she has her head in her hands. He wonders how Luke managed to do this for eight years.  
-Sometimes I would like to go back, too. I mean, I was rude, and difficult, and If I met my old self now I’d probably punch him. Or he’d punch me. But I somehow managed to get the best girl around.- that does make her smile, if for a second. -And some other times I wish I had been able to hold onto the things that really counted for me. Some of those things, I’ll never get back, and it kills me.-.His hand lingers for a moment on her body, and then he takes it away. It is as much as he can say right then, and still his voice trembles a little. He finishes the drink in a last sip. Go big or go home.  
She stares ahed, weighing the words. He knows she will understand what he wanted to say. If a single person in the world can get him, that person his Rory.  
When her silence is too long, he cannot stop the urge to speak again.  
-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to… you’re clearly in love with him and I don’t know what I was thinking…- she takes a deep breath, and stops him.  
-Jess, the problem, I think, is that I’m not in love with him. Not anymore, anyway.-  
The alcool must be starting to have an effect on him, because he’s more confused than ever.  
She just looks at him for a very long moment, sadness overtaking her features, making her impossibly beautiful.  
When she kisses him, a split second later, it’s the last thing he would have expected. It’s too brief to even register, but he still can taste the sweetness of her lips and he’s catapulted into the past, a wave of inexplicable feelings submerging him.  
She retreats even faster, and seems, if possible, more confused than him.  
She stands up, as to put space between them, on the verge of a crisis.  
-Rory… what the hell is happening? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, and I get that you miss your teen years but this is…-  
-I’m pregnant.-  
She finally cries, and walks away. 

 

***

There’s something comforting about the town being this familiar.  
Even if he never really considered it his home, he still thinks the bond he has with the streets, the park, the houses, the people, is a strong one, stronger than he would ever admit.  
And it’s easy to understand why: with all the crazy things going on his life, he has made some of his happiest memories in this place.

He sees her from afar, walking with her mother, Lorelai apparently focused on delivering one of her immersive stories that involve mimicking and gesticulating.  
Rory spots him, and waves her hand a little, smiling.  
When he reaches them, they’re in front of Luke, Lorelai already opening the door.  
-Hi Jess! Still not tired of Stars Hollow?-  
He has accepted that he will probably never be really liked by the older woman, but he also knows that she likes making fun of him.  
-Not yet, no. I heard there’s this whole basket festival going on tomorrow and I definitely wanted to check it out.-  
Rory laughs, tucking her hair back, and Lorelai just goes in, tsking. -I need coffe, I’ll wait inside.-  
-So- he says, smile wide on his face.  
-So I wanted to make it clear that if you have any intentions of buying my basket tomorrow, you’ll have to remember that I have to eat for two at the moment -sometimes three- and there wouldn’t be much food left for you.-  
He laughs, looking at the way she’s so clearly pregnant.  
-If you’re skills in the kitchen haven’t improved, I don’t think that’s really a tragedy.-  
She feigns offence, and slaps his arm lightly.  
He just pulls her closer, kissing her lips gently.  
-Hi- she smiles.  
He smiles too, perfectly happy.  
-So, are you really here for the festival? I thought you weren’t supposed to come before Monday-.  
He opens his backpack and hands her a gift. A very rectangular, book shaped gift.  
-Jess! Have you bought her another book? This way she’s going to have a full library before she is even born!- she says, with no hardness in her voice.  
-Yes and no. This one’s special. Open it.-  
She unwraps the book, hands trembling a little as soon as she realizes what she’s holding.  
“Gilmore Girls”, by Rory Gilmore.


End file.
